Quoting charis:

There is probably no more of a dreaded phrase in the Dating world than, "Lets just be Friends". We have all probably heard this line at least once in our lives. These words more than likely have brought many of us crashing down because upon hearing the dreaded line, our hopes for deeper intimacy with another come suddenly, to an screeching and abrupt halt. On the other hand, many of us may have possibly used the famous one liner ourselves. But after this unforgettable experience, if we are honest with ourselves somewhere in the midst of our disappointment or in the more intense cases, that of our drowning sorrow, an epiphany occurs, that a friendship is really the best way for any relationship to start versus the popular notion of just plunging one self into the unknown deep waters of intimacy, not knowing anything about this vast mysterious body of water one has jumped into. We know deep down that genuine friendships seek to truly know and appreciate the deep mystery of who a person truly is before things get seriously intimate on romantic level. We know that we must be patient, understanding, and non controlling allowing the person to be there self as we hope they will be with us . It is not easy to let the other flourish as true authentic person, it risky business since it calls us to let go of our need based closeness which is not love based closeness and is likely to last only as long as our need lasts. The love we know we ought to give is not based, at least not primarily, on our own needs being satisfied by the other. Like anyone who loves deeply and authentically, they will be loyal to their friends. Loyalty for the Catholic is attribute that finds it ultimate and final meaning in God. Who will never forsake his own but remains faithful as long as we desire him. Loyalty is doing what one has committed to amidst changing circumstances. Loyalty is a quality that develops our consciousness. Loyalty leads us deep into a situation, through it, and out the other side emerging as a more developed person. Loyalty in a heart to heart relationship develops mutual trust. But our Loyalty must hold hands with Honesty, that is it must be a reality within ourselves and with others if is to be truly authentic. I think this catches somewhat of the spirit of desire of those voice a ever popular but legitimate complaint of how someone has negatively been treated in a relationship, the complaint goes like this, " I am tired of his or her Games." This indicates that someone feels that they are being manipulated ultimately for what the other wants out of the relationship. Its sad, Those who employ this tacit (playing games) are missing out on the very thing they are looking for, when we seek Love like this, in some quicker or less painful way, we settle for an empty substitute that dehumanizes the other and creates them in image of our own selfish desires, a recipe for a relationship that is ultimately in the end, an empty and unsatisfying one. When will we wake up and understand that God never promised us that road would be safe and easy, but in order to find true life and love that means listening to what Love itself ( God ) says. It means that in order to find this great of gift of His, we must carry our crosses wrestling with others and ourselves which are prone to be selfish and sinful. Yet, we have hope among this relational chaos of finding the beauty that lies in others and also in our selves that leads to true love. Hopefully all the while, we are seeking to make our song of love more like song of Love itself , "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails".

There is probably no more of a dreaded phrase in the Dating world than, "Lets just be Friends". We have all probably heard this line at least once in our lives. These words more than likely have brought many of us crashing down because upon hearing the dreaded line, our hopes for deeper intimacy with another come suddenly, to an screeching and abrupt halt. On the other hand, many of us may have possibly used the famous one liner ourselves. But after this unforgettable experience, if we are honest with ourselves somewhere in the midst of our disappointment or in the more intense cases, that of our drowning sorrow, an epiphany occurs, that a friendship is really the best way for any relationship to start versus the popular notion of just plunging one self into the unknown deep waters of intimacy, not knowing anything about this vast mysterious body of water one has jumped into. We know deep down that genuine friendships seek to truly know and appreciate the deep mystery of who a person truly is before things get seriously intimate on romantic level. We know that we must be patient, understanding, and non controlling allowing the person to be there self as we hope they will be with us . It is not easy to let the other flourish as true authentic person, it risky business since it calls us to let go of our need based closeness which is not love based closeness and is likely to last only as long as our need lasts. The love we know we ought to give is not based, at least not primarily, on our own needs being satisfied by the other. Like anyone who loves deeply and authentically, they will be loyal to their friends. Loyalty for the Catholic is attribute that finds it ultimate and final meaning in God. Who will never forsake his own but remains faithful as long as we desire him. Loyalty is doing what one has committed to amidst changing circumstances. Loyalty is a quality that develops our consciousness. Loyalty leads us deep into a situation, through it, and out the other side emerging as a more developed person. Loyalty in a heart to heart relationship develops mutual trust. But our Loyalty must hold hands with Honesty, that is it must be a reality within ourselves and with others if is to be truly authentic. I think this catches somewhat of the spirit of desire of those voice a ever popular but legitimate complaint of how someone has negatively been treated in a relationship, the complaint goes like this, " I am tired of his or her Games." This indicates that someone feels that they are being manipulated ultimately for what the other wants out of the relationship. Its sad, Those who employ this tacit (playing games) are missing out on the very thing they are looking for, when we seek Love like this, in some quicker or less painful way, we settle for an empty substitute that dehumanizes the other and creates them in image of our own selfish desires, a recipe for a relationship that is ultimately in the end, an empty and unsatisfying one. When will we wake up and understand that God never promised us that road would be safe and easy, but in order to find true life and love that means listening to what Love itself ( God ) says. It means that in order to find this great of gift of His, we must carry our crosses wrestling with others and ourselves which are prone to be selfish and sinful. Yet, we have hope among this relational chaos of finding the beauty that lies in others and also in our selves that leads to true love. Hopefully all the while, we are seeking to make our song of love more like song of Love itself , "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails".