Winter has arrived here viciously and some of us need a joke to lighten things up. I like the hockey players mentioned in my joke, just so no one thinks I'm poking fun at them.....
Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemiex and Steve Yserman all die and meet in heaven. God is sitting in his chair and says to Lemiex "MArio what do yo beleive in?" "I beleive hockeys is the greatest thing in the world and the best sport in history" To that god says "take the seat to my left and Steve what do you beleive in?" "I beleive bravery is the best" To that God says "take the seat to my Right and Wayne what do you beleive in?" "I beleive you?re sitting in my seat"
Winter has arrived here viciously and some of us need a joke to lighten things up. I like the hockey players mentioned in my joke, just so no one thinks I'm poking fun at them.....
Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemiex and Steve Yserman all die and meet in heaven. God is sitting in his chair and says to Lemiex "MArio what do yo beleive in?" "I beleive hockeys is the greatest thing in the world and the best sport in history" To that god says "take the seat to my left and Steve what do you beleive in?" "I beleive bravery is the best" To that God says "take the seat to my Right and Wayne what do you beleive in?" "I beleive you?re sitting in my seat"
I know it's gross, but it was a favorite of my brother and I when we were kids, but I have to say, it sure was fun to act out!
Three girls walk into a barber shop. The first one walks by and she has blond hair. The barber asked, “How’d you get such lovely hair” Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It’s natural.”
The second girl walked by and he asked, “How’d you get such pretty brown hair?” Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, “It’s natural.”
Finally third girl walks by and the barber asked, “How’d you get such cool green hair?” *Take your hand and rub it up past your nose then skim it through your hair* she said, “It’s natural.”
I know it's gross, but it was a favorite of my brother and I when we were kids, but I have to say, it sure was fun to act out!
Three girls walk into a barber shop. The first one walks by and she has blond hair. The barber asked, “How’d you get such lovely hair” Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It’s natural.”
The second girl walked by and he asked, “How’d you get such pretty brown hair?” Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, “It’s natural.”
Finally third girl walks by and the barber asked, “How’d you get such cool green hair?” *Take your hand and rub it up past your nose then skim it through your hair* she said, “It’s natural.”
The Great Getskey, goes to heaven and saint Peter welcomes him at the gates. "Wayne, he asks, "Why did you give it all up for an ex-playboy bunny, why? You were the 'Great One'?" Wayne replies, "I had to save her from the devil, you know...Hugh Hefner?" Saint Peter replies, " Hef's not the devil, word here in heaven is that Satan is a hockey player in the NHL, because the world is in turmoil and in the end times." Wayne says, "Your right, I was on my way to the Playboy mansion, where I caught Satan in bed with my wife, a fight ensued, I was shot dead and the tribualation commenced to unfold, it was my last great hat trick, so now that I'm here, what do ya say, can you put in a good word with God for me?." Saint Pete, says, "Sure come on in, but He's busy watching the National Hockey League playoffs, bub, Jesus returned as a power forward for the Vancouver Canucks, and they are in a power play in double over-time, at the the Garden, with the New Jersey Devils, my apologies." God does have a sense of humor and a sports fanatic.
The Great Getskey, goes to heaven and saint Peter welcomes him at the gates. "Wayne, he asks, "Why did you give it all up for an ex-playboy bunny, why? You were the 'Great One'?" Wayne replies, "I had to save her from the devil, you know...Hugh Hefner?" Saint Peter replies, " Hef's not the devil, word here in heaven is that Satan is a hockey player in the NHL, because the world is in turmoil and in the end times." Wayne says, "Your right, I was on my way to the Playboy mansion, where I caught Satan in bed with my wife, a fight ensued, I was shot dead and the tribualation commenced to unfold, it was my last great hat trick, so now that I'm here, what do ya say, can you put in a good word with God for me?." Saint Pete, says, "Sure come on in, but He's busy watching the National Hockey League playoffs, bub, Jesus returned as a power forward for the Vancouver Canucks, and they are in a power play in double over-time, at the the Garden, with the New Jersey Devils, my apologies." God does have a sense of humor and a sports fanatic.
This woman gets on a bus carrying a baby. The busdriver remarks, "Thats the ugliest kid I ever saw!" She is incenced and storms to the back of the bus and sits down next to this guy. The guy says to her, "I heard what he said. You should go back and give that busdriver a piece of your mind. Here, let me hold your monkey."
This woman gets on a bus carrying a baby. The busdriver remarks, "Thats the ugliest kid I ever saw!" She is incenced and storms to the back of the bus and sits down next to this guy. The guy says to her, "I heard what he said. You should go back and give that busdriver a piece of your mind. Here, let me hold your monkey."
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.
The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"
The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.
The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"
The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"
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